The Babysitting Lady's Blog

Making empty threats is the biggest mistake any parent, babysitter, or any other child care provider can make.  An empty threat is warning a child that there will be a negative consequence if he continues to misbehave, but then not following through with the consequence if the child does not change his behavior.

Making empty threats results in a poorly behaved child because he quickly realizes that he can continue negative or inappropriate behavior and there will not be a punishment.  I once witnessed a woman at the beach with her son displaying one of the best examples of empty threats that I had seen in a long time.  First, the child asked his mom for some cookies.  His mother told him that he could not have the cookies until he ate his lunch.  The boy continued to take the cookies out of the bag.  His mom raised her voice and told him if he took the cookies then they were going to have to go home.

I knew already that this was an empty threat.  They had just arrived and the mother spent quite some time “setting up camp.”  Sure enough, the boy grabbed the cookies and ran.  His mom chased him about 20 yards yelling “That’s it – we’re leaving!”  When the boy continued running down the beach with his cookies she went back to her chair and sat down.

Over a period of another couple of hours, the boy had misbehaved and ignored her warnings several more times.   His mother had threatened to feed his sandwich to the seagulls, throw his beach toys in the trash can, and twice more she threatened to leave the beach – none of these scenarios took place.

Think before you make a threat.  Refrain from warning a child about negative consequences that you are not willing to follow through on.  Be sure consequences are relative in severity to the behavior.  And, never revoke a punishment due to good behavior.  This sounds harsh but by doing this, you let a child know that punishments do not stick and there is always a way out.  Instead, reward the good behavior with something different.  For example, if you’ve told your child she cannot have her friend over to play because she refused to clean her bedroom, but then she cleans the playroom without being asked, reward her by baking cookies with her or doing something else she enjoys instead of allowing her friend over to play.

Lisa McLellan

Child Care Expert

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This is not only a tip for babysitters and nannies, but it is an essential tip for parents, guardians, and any child caregiver at all.  If you want a child to behave well, you MUST BE CONSISTENT!!!

If you tell a child once they cannot eat cookies before bed, but then allow it on another night, you can expect that the child will ask again and again to have cookies before bed.  If you continue to tell a child that they cannot eat cookies before bed each time he asks, then the child will soon learn that cookies are not allowed before bed and he will stop asking.

Some babysitters are afraid that the children they are caring for will not like them or want them to babysit anymore if they do not give in to the child’s requests.  This is far from true.  Children will respect the babysitter or nanny and realize that she is in charge if she is kind but firm.

When you are dealing with children whether you are a babysitter or a parent, you need to  stick to the rules if you want children to obey them.  Giving in, even once, gives children the idea that whatever it is, is negotiable, whether it is about bedtime, snacks, length of time on computer games, etc.

If a child asks for something and your answer is no, but the child continues to beg and plead, you can try offering an alternative.  For example, if a child asks for you to bring her to the playground but your answer is no because it looks like it is about to rain, you could try offering an alternative activity like finger painting, baking cookies, or doing a puppet show.

Often, there may not be an alternative when the issue is something such as bedtime.  If that is the case, just say something like “I’m sorry, but it is 9:00 and that’s when your Mom said you have to go to bed.  I don’t make the rules but I do have to follow them.”

Use patience and kindness but stick to the rules and everyone will be happier in the end.

Lisa McLellan

Child Care Expert

It can be difficult to care for an infant, baby, or even a toddler for several hours if you are not used to it.  How can you entertain them for that long?

Well of course what you do varies by age, so lets start with infants.  Most infants sleep for many hours a day.  But, there will always be an exception to the rule or just a day when a normally sleepy baby will simply refuse to nap.

Almost all infants like motion.  Thousands of parents have often strapped their babies into their car seats and taken them for a a drive around the block a few times to get them to sleep or just to soothe them.  You can use this miracle of motion by taking the baby for a walk in the stroller.  Even if it is a chilly day, just bundle baby up first and then go for a nice long walk.  Not only will baby love all the new things to look at, but you’ll get some exercise and fresh air too!  Most babies will be very happy and content throughout the walk having so many new things to see and hear.

Toddlers can be easier to entertain than infants but can also be challenging when you need to entertain them for several hours.  Walks can work well for toddlers also, but many times they want to actually walk as opposed to being pushed in a carriage.  If you decide to go for a walk with a child that actually plans on walking, try not to plan to be at a specific destination by a certain time unless you also plan on leaving early.  Toddlers love to stroll along slowly, stopping every few feet  to pick up a rock, pluck a dandelion, or sit on a step.  It can be very frustrating if you had planned to meet a friend and the child she’s babysitting at the playground and you are moving along at a snails pace and also stopping here, there, and everywhere along the way.

Give yourself plenty of time and use the walk itself as a way to entertain the child.  Point out birds you see, let him watch a bug run by, step on dry leaves together and let him listen to them crunch.  There’s so much to do outside.

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When you’re playing inside, puzzles and blocks are two great toys that toddles typically enjoy.  But, don’t be surprised when a little hand or foot quickly topples the impressive tower or castle you just built!  As much as little ones love to build towers, they enjoy knocking them down even more!

When entertaining little ones, remember that they love to learn about the world around them by seeing, hearing, and touching new things.  Making sounds with a spoon and some metal pots delights most toddlers and babies.  Prepare an area with lots of newspaper or a plastic table cloth and let baby splash with her hands in a plastic bowl of water.  Use your imagination; the possibilities for fun are endless!

Lisa McLellan

Child Care Expert

Does your local library have a “pass plan?”  Many local libraries have tickets, passes, or coupons that allow you to get into museums and educational attractions in your area for greatly reduced rates or even for free!  For babysitters and nannies, this is a great way to spend time with the children and won’t cost you or the parents a fortune.  For parents, it is a great way to spend quality time with your kids while they are having fun learning!

I have taken advantage of my public library’s “pass plan” on several occasions and saved a bundle!  For example, a friend of mine and I took my 2 children to an educational attraction last summer that would have cost $74.00 for the four of us, but with the library pass it was only $20.00.  We also went to a children’s museum that would have cost $42.00 for the four of us, but with the library pass it was only $8.00 total!

You don’t have to have children to enjoy the benefits of these coupons and passes.  Visit a museum with a friend or entertain out of town guests by taking them to some local historical sites.   Check out your local library today and see if they participate in this type of program.  It is the best kept secret to low cost family fun!

Why bother talking to babies when they can’t understand you anyway?  Whether you are a parent, sibling, nanny or babysitter, or any other kind of caregiver, you should not feel silly or embarrassed talking to infants and babies.  They love the attention and are slowly learning language from you.  If you are making lunch with baby nearby, just talk about what you are doing.  Tell him what kind of bread you are using and why it is healthy or why you like it.  If you are thinking about what you will be doing while the baby naps, think out loud.  Let him know that while he sleeps you plan to curl up on the sofa and relax with your favorite book.  Even if you can’t think of anything to say, sing a little song or nursery rhyme.

While it is hard to resist mimicking a toddler’s mispronounced words, try to refrain from repeating them incorrectly on purpose.  The baby is learning from you all the time; if you mispronounce words, so will he.  The more you talk to the baby, the faster he will understand and learn to speak himself.  Save the silence for sleep time!  Chatter away to your baby or the baby you are caring for and help him to understand you and the world around him.

Lisa McLellan, The Babysitting Lady, Child Care Expert